Hitler and Tom Clancy Discuss The Titanic

“I wear a size twelve… Why are you sniggering?” – Adolf Hitler

“If I wasn’t writing about espionage and the military, I’d be chronically masturbating… Hmmm.” – Tom Clancy

“Port is left, STARBOARD is right Goddammit!” – Capt. Smith, HMS Titanic

Ian Fleming Wrote For Ted Bundy and Bing Crosby

“Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was also based on real events. I’ve never… ever been as happy as I was that week.” – Ian Fleming.

“Black Lab puppies are my favourite… They taste great.” – Ted Bundy

“Three kilos and two dead hookers later, out came White Christmas.” – Bing Crosby

Rock Hudson and JFK Golfed With Manson

“The trick is to line it up with the back nine then wait for the wind to change – feel for the moment and just follow through, always follow through.” - Charles Manson.

“I can bench press two… no! Three men at once.” Rock Hudson.

“Of course I feel bad about Cuba, just look at this erection – this is a sad erection.” - JFK.

Chaucer and Churchill Waiting For The Tide

“Closer…That’s it…Closer, you son of a bitch… closer.” – The Beach To The Tide.

“Lady Astor: If you were my husband I’d poison your tea.
Winston Churchill: You are a fat old cunt who I wish were dead or dying.” – Winston Churchill, sans propaganda.

“And I’ll call it ‘The Canterbury Tails’, a sex filled romp through England.” – Chaucer.

At Kitty Hawk, Pres. Truman Stole Darwin's Wallet

“If man was meant to fly he would have wings on his back and fireworks up his ass…and maybe some kind of aerodynamic vessel in which to propel himself and a highly trained international crew, powered by…oh, large cylinders of combustive fuel that would give enough propulsion to surpass the earth’s atmosphere, sufficiently breaching the earth’ s gravitational pull and send the “rocket” ship within landing distance of the closest heavenly body…what’s it called? Ah yes, the moon! HA, I’d sooner vote for Taft than believe that possible.” – Unknown spectator at the Wright Brothers flight demonstration at Kitty Hawk NC.

“Tickle him, and if that doesn’t work tickle him some more, we need those damn equations.”- President Truman in regards to a defiant, yet unfortunately ticklish Einstein.

“Well, it didn’t just get up and walk away… did it?” – Darwin, pondering the evolution of his missing wallet.

Thatcher and Ted Hughes Read Anne Landers

“Use milk instead of water, and double the cocoa powder - trust me... That’ll get rid of the blacks.” - Margaret Thatcher

“Fuck em’ young blood should have kept their mouths shut, don’t do nuttin’ unless you ready to be sumtin!” - Anne Landers to Reader’s Digest Editor Carrol Winters. August 1975 at Lake Tahoe. 3pm. Six Bellinis Deep.

“You can hiss all you want from in there, I’m not coming in that kitchen.” – Ted Hughes

Kissinger and Yo Mama'

“Chickens don’t exist. There, now I’ve said something crazy let us continue with negotiations…” – Henry Kissinger.

“I’ll do it. But I want more money.” – A Young Mother Theresa.

“I hate children.” – Your Mother At Age(s) 17, 20, 23, 27-54.