Schrondinger and Liberace walk into a bar...

"Ha! Made you look" - Schrodinger


“One for each finger.” - Liberace*
Note: Historians and biographers assume that he was talking about his many fine and priceless rings and not, as contested, young boys.


"Woof!" - Schrodinger's Cat

Yellow Dots and Nixon

“You’re worthless.” – Martha Harperdasher-Ball, wife of Harvey Ross Ball, inventor of the (then) unpopular: Big Yellow Dot.


“Fuck it, let’s go surfing!” Richard Milhouse Nixon.


“…” – Martha Haperdasher, ex-wife of multi millionaire Mr. Harvey Ross Ball, inventor of the (very) popular: Big Yellow Dot With Smiling Face©.

HMS Bounty and Hoover

“No, no… leave the rum and loose women behind. The men will understand.” – Capt. Bligh


“The Fucking Cunt!” – Fletcher Christianson.


“I don’t have to tell you shit!” – J. Edgar Hoover to his reflection.

Newton, Flying Pig and a Puppy

“Up…down…up…down…UP…DOWN,down? YES! DOWN!” – Sir Isaac Newton and the epiphany that destroyed his marriage.

“Do it… no one is watching you, just do it.” – Arthur, the world’s first and foremost flying pig.

“I’ll burn this city to the ground.” – That puppy in the window, the one with the waggily tail.

Gal, Stal and Wilde

“I just wanted some attention.” – Galileo

“This doesn’t leave the office, but I’m thinking of getting a puppy.”- Josef Stalin

“I prefer handsome men.” – Oscar Wilde, moments before masturbation.

Adam and Eve Push Columbus Out and Let Crusoe In

“Are you ticklish here?” – Adam to Eve

“That dirty son of a bitch knows damn well what time it is.” - Crusoe

“OUT!” – Columbus.

Pollock Talks Crusoe Into God

“ACHOOOOOOOOO! ... Aw, Dammit! …wait.” - Jackson Pollock

“I call it slow dancing.” – Robinson Crusoe to Friday.

“Because I want the world to know the score. Me: 1, You: 0.” - God to Noah.