Dr_Brachenbury is...
“Dr_Brachenbury is a man who knows too much of Everything and not enough of nothing.” - Dr_Brachenbury.
“He must be stopped!” – Dr_Brachenbury 08/15/2097
A philanthropist, scientist, evil scientist, Detroit Tiger’s fan, dog lover, part time poet, Orange crush enthusiast, amateur surgeon, Aero-Nautical engineer, weekend heroin user, Time Traveler, civil war buff, International undiscovered treasure and father of seven… maybe eight.
This man who has seen and done it all with only one eye and one hand presents you with his collection of the Forgotten Quotes of Our Time. Without the use of research Dr_Brachenbury has successfully discovered and preserved some of the rarest quotes and anecdotes known to man and nature. It is as his request that the humans of earth begin to understand, learn and love the great work he has done. Feel free to adore him at your own pace and leisure.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Music, Dancing, And Mark Twain's Penis
"Dancing? No, I don't think it will catch on here in America." - Richard Nixon
"I call it Jazz." - Mozart
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Togas, Khans And A SkateBoard Universe
"I'll have 4 horses, two pigs, three severed heads, a half dozen women and a diet coke. Just kidding - a bucket of frothy blood please." - Genghis Khan
"Heliocentrism is cool but skateboards are cooler - watch me ollie this globe." - Nicolaus Copernicus
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Perfect Way To Ruin A Caesar
"Who ate all the pussy?" - Ben Franklin
"Caesars for breakfast, caesars for lunch, caesars for din din... This isn't my house?" - Ted Kennedy
Friday, July 22, 2011
Billy Clinton and Kafka Swap Jokes
"How many Kafka's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Please leave me alone." - Franz Kafka
"All through the trial I kept wondering what a prize pig would look like in a dress and then I had a snickers bar for dinner." - Bill Clinton
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Dickens And The Techno Dreamcoat
"Don't worry, we'll sleep head to foot." - Don Juan
"Everyone loved 'Hard Times' but no one mentioned my new haircut, these are hard times indeed." - Charles Dickens
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Easy On The Salt G-Man
"Red Velvet cake." - George S. Patton
"No, in fact - I don't think there is enough salt on my fries." - Ghandi
Monday, July 18, 2011
Jane Goodall's Big Dance
"Young, talentless and scared for my big dance recital I peered through a slit in the curtain and searched the audience for my parents' stern but reassuring faces. I did not see them - but waved instead to an entire front row of Gombe Chimpanzees who hooted and howled and threw feces all in my name. I made a very big life decision that night." - Jane Goodall
"Steek, chiken friys, a wuman from tennisee, a jazzie sambah beet... one dictionary." - Tony Bennett
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sweat, Tony Bennett and Reynolds Ala Burt
"David Bowie, a Chihuahua packed full of cocaine and some Kennedy bastard flush with green... now for the melody." - Tony Bennett
"Mmmm Black girls." - Burt Reynolds
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Good Times, Great Friends and Golden Oldies
"Bring me their dimples or bring me their heads." - Shirley Temple
"I've got a feeling - that tonight's gunna be a good night - that tonight's gunna be a good good niiiight." - Paul Revere
Monday, July 11, 2011
Fake Ass Girzzly Bear Kissed Gore Vidal - Ansel Adams Teased
"Grizzly bears hate fake bitches." - James "Grizzly" Adams
"If you're not a mountain then get the hell out of the shot!" - Ansel Adams
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Lincoln The Critic Meet Franklin The Fetishist... And Some Chimps
"The Gombe Chimpanzees are reading 'Atlas Shrugged' right now - most of them highly recommend it." - Jane Goodall
"I've always liked nipples... I'm sorry, I'm too drunk." - Ben Franklin
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Polio, Chimps and Good Ol' Honey On Nipples
"Despite pressure from outside groups the Gombe Chimpanzees refuse to pick a side in the Israel-Palestine conflict, although they strongly believe in a free Tibet." - Jane Goodall
"I like honey on my nipples...? Those aren't my words! From now on I'll be locking my study." - T.S. Eliot
Monday, July 4, 2011
WE DID IT AMERICA!
"One more scoop of Ice Cream and then it's straight to killing myself." - Franz Kafka
"It's either fifteen pesos per cap or It's hip to be square." - William S. Burroughs
Friday, July 1, 2011
Big Ben, Liberace and Satanic Chimps
"I cried all the way to the bank and then Tony Curtis' chalet." - Liberace
"The Gombe Chimpanzees listened patiently to the Jehova witnesses and even offered them some ice tea afterwards, but gracefully refused to convert from Satanism." - Jane Goodall