Written By An Angry Young Man In A Giant Rat Costume
After the explosion is finished I think I’ll take my rat costume off. I don’t need it, it’s not like I smell - I do smell, but not what you would think I smell like. Does pride have a smell? Yep.
I smell like pride and sweat and axe body deodorant spray and a thirty year old giant rat costume that was once worn by both Ted Bundy and Bon Jovi when they worked at XIXXXY XOXLD. I often tell pretty girls (and young mothers) that it’s Bon Jovi’s.
Children and dykes get Bundy. I guess after the atomic explosion is done and the blast radius kills off most THE FAGS DYKES NIGGERS SAND NIGGERS SPICS CHINKS INJUNS CRACKHEAD TEEN MOM FLATCHEST NOOBS SLUTS STEP DAD/MUM EX FATTERS CHRIST SUCKIN WHITE TRASH and PHONIES I’ll ride my bike-------------------------------- Drive my mom’s car------------------------------Drive.
Drive to Arizona and live in the Grand Canyon and spend my time between a lifetime vacation and day trips to Graceland.
I’d rather not be wearing my giant rat costume in Graceland – just in case Paul Simon is there.
Yeah.
Paul’d probably write a song about it all, about making it out of his fancy four million dollar white wash colonial home, leaving behind him his fancy hi def recording studio and his 3rd comeback album. He’d take the demo to Cecilia 2 and his African drums with him DRIVING RIGHT BY his ex wife who left him to fuck Geddy Lee in the VIP Sauna at Elvis Costello’s Bris.
Paul would just be laughing and tapping out a beat on the gas pedal of his SEA FOAM Toyota Sienna brainstorming up a new song about the irony of it all NOT GIVING a fuck anymore about the meaning of the word irony because fuck it, he’d make up a new meaning. Something that has more to do with how small a dick Geddy Lee’s got and how his ex still begs him to let her come back and he just keeps on laughing and tapping out this new HOT beat and drives past her house while radiated ash ruins Geddy’s 86’ Twin Turbo IROC and full head of hair.
That would be the new meaning for irony he’d write the lyrics later, perhaps when he reaches Graceland and sees me in black jeans and a Genesis Tee and stops. Just STOPS. Surprised to see anther LIVING soul maybe a little scared because my head’s been freshly shaved, quickly becoming (self) conscious of his demo tape and African drums in the back seat but I’d say RELAX and he’d know. JUST know that I was cool and shit would be cool and that he could finally have someone to explain the NEW meaning of irony and I’d instantly understand and Paul would show me the drums – THE DEMO TAPE we listen to on Elvis’s HI FI system and write lyrics to “Irony” that afternoon, making time for Paul’s famous Breakfast Burritos (for dinner) and a night drive to my little spot in the Grand Canyon. On the way there we both get uncomfortable as a flash of my mum’s perfume just misses our noses. Her smell JUST out of reach as we drive faster. So, without invitation we start drinking in order to breathe it back.
Going 80, slinging BUD and talking about the Civil war, discussing Hitler, Who shot JFK? And Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid THINKING OUTLOUD what we would do if we were them. Crying a bit when we come to the same conclusion, making a silent vow to end it all together THE WAY BUDS SHOULD. Before falling asleep Paul sings a bit of Genesis – something the lawyers never let him do and we talk and we make promises about all the pussy we are going to bring back to the Grand Canyon THE VIEW the fucking view. I speak the last words before my first sleep under stars HOW ABOUT CALLING IT CECILIA --------- AGAIN?
SLEEP then there would be no more RASH BAD TEETH HEADACHES NOSE BLEED BLACKOUT MEDICINE DOCTOR BLOOD NURSE RATCHET CRY BABY TESTS NOTHING DARK NO MONSTERS XBOXLIVE COMMENTS TUCK IN CEMETARY NEIL DIAMOND RAT COSTUME PICTURE ALBUM SAD SONG BLACK PRIEST CONFUSED DOG FRIDAY. ONLY PAUL SIMON AFRICAN DRUMS GENESIS GRAND CANYON GRACELAND (maybe mom).
The stars. It would be a night where the stars were so many; up there without number or name like Paul and ME ALONE BUT ALIVE. Happy to be apart from all others and still shine brightest.
This. All this after the Atomic Blast and after I take off (or clean) the giant rat costume. Look for it:
Graceland. Arizona. POP. 2
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